We all at times struggle with communicating with others. We forget someone’s name or can’t accurately convey our thoughts through our words. However, when your loved one is diagnosed with dementia one area that becomes increasingly difficult is communication. Over time dementia will affect the way a person communicates and these changes will become increasingly more noticeable. Their ability to find words, put together a thought, and communicate rational ideas will become more difficult. Communication becomes frustrating not only for the person with dementia but also for their caregivers. With many years of working as caregivers we have developed our own strategies for increasing effective communication with those with dementia.
- DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
Don’t assume that communication will be difficult. We know that each person’s dementia story is unique so their struggles with communication are also unique. Some struggle with finding their words, some make up words or stories, while others lose their speech completely. Each person’s progression through the disease will look different, and their day to day struggles can also be quite diverse.
- CHECK THE MOOD BEFORE YOU SPEAK
Set up the interaction to be a positive one. Check your surroundings, is this a good place to talk, is it too loud or are there a lot of people around. Are you ready to communicate? Make sure you are feeling positive and have the patience to think about not only what your loved one with dementia is saying but what their body language is also telling you.
- KEEP IT SIMPLE
Make your sentences clear and straightforward. Practice asking your loved one questions that are answerable with yes or no responses that don’t require too much detail for you to get the information that you need. Only ask one question at a time and avoid questions that require them to “remember” something. If they get off track gently redirect back to the topic, while avoiding confronting any misuse of words or conflicts in their stories.
- USE YOUR EARS & EYES
Make eye contact and allow your body to face them. Watch their body language, what do their facial expressions tell you? Remember to listen to clues in what is being said while not paying attention to the actual words that are being said. Cue in to expressions of pain or feelings of sadness. This gives you a good chance to validate their feelings and make them feel heard.
- DON’T RUSH
Allow plenty of time for communication. It may take them awhile to formulate their thoughts or find their words. Attempt to avoid “finishing their sentences” or correcting the words they choose to use. Instead encourage them to keep talking, offer up your own experiences or thoughts.
- INCLUDE THEM IN CONVERSATION
There are usually a lot of people involved in caring for your loved one with dementia. Make sure that when a conversation is about them, that you are including them. When they are also present in the room, look for feedback, check in with their thoughts on the subject. This validates their feelings and maintains dignity.
- LAUGH TOGETHER & SMILE OFTEN
Find common ground, things that you both find enjoyable. These will be the moments that pull you through the tough days and the things that will help you make connections as dementia progresses. Remember these moments, how they made you feel, so that you can help them to continue to experience these feelings and have these moments too.
It’s important to not lose hope and as dementia progresses we must remember that they may lose the ability to communicate through words their stories or experiences but they will also be able to show emotion. How you made them feel will always be there even when they may not understand what it is you’ve said. We can all understand a smile, and you can never smile too much.
Memory Care Support Group 